Posted 09-07-19
Revised 12-07-19
By Christopher Leeson
Chapter 4, Part 1
Friday, December 22, 1871
As soon as the sun came up, Irene set
out for her errand in town, taking most of the holiday baking with
her. One of the church ladies there had volunteered to collect the
parishioners' food contributions; it would be the responsibility of
that person and her helpers to set up the Christmas feast. For the
time being, Myra would be left at home to keep abreast of the chores.
The girl didn't mind getting out from
under Aunt Irene's watchful eyes; a little privacy was what she wanted and needed.
Miss Olcott moved swiftly though her
routine, making good haste so that she could have most of the
afternoon to read the remaining letters. As she worked, she kept
wondering why those correspondences needed to be so well hidden in
the first place. Did they show Irene in some discreditable light? If
so, perhaps they could provide the girl with material for blackmail
purposes. Myra's anticipatory smile quickly faded. How could she
extort demands from any of the three people whom she had to obey
absolutely?
Damn it! Life was still kicking her
around. Why couldn't it ever play fair?
After a quick mid-day lunch, Myra at
last had time to deal with the letters. This time, she's decided to
leave the box up in the loft and bring down just a handful of
correspondences at a time. Then, if some caller surprised her, the
packet would be easier to hide than would the entire box. Settling
down to her task, she casually checked the clock. It was getting on
to 1:00 pm and so far there had been no sign of George. It was
becoming unlikely that the farm boy would be coming at all, the
December days being so short. That was all to the good.
After reading several of the letters,
whose contents she could hardly find interesting, Myra opened another
epistle, one of the many sent by Aunt Irene, dating from the spring
of 1866.
“Dear Addie,
“Your last letter has alarmed me.
What has put you into such a sad and nervous state? You refer
vaguely to past misdeeds. What misdeeds? And why are you so sure
that God cannot forgive you and Edgar? It shouldn't be necessary for
me to remind my older sister, who taught me so much about faith, that
He can, and will, forgive any evil deed, as long as it is earnestly
repented. Imagine! He will forgive even a repentant murder. You are
a good and tender person, precious Addie, and your husband is an
honest man of rectitude. The two of you could never stray so far
away from virtue that you would place yourselves beyond God's
forgiveness. How long have you been suffering? From the way that
you refer to this mysterious sin it makes me think that it occurred not
recently, but years ago. That dismays me even more. How long have you
been carrying such a load of pain and sorrow? Dear beloved, why could
you have not alerted me sooner, so that I could have sooner begun
assisting you in redemption, and even in restitution, if necessary?
“I sincerely hope that you have
overstated the direness of the situation. It cannot be as terrible
as you imply. I know you so well and believe in you steadfastly. It
is only a good person who beats his breast and pours ashes on his
head, not the careless and consistent sinner. Help me understand
what has happened, so that I may better reassure you. The Good Book
names very few sins that are are beyond the pale of forgiveness, and
you are surely not of the debased type that could have committed any
of the most terrible transgressions. Whatever you have done, or
believe that you have done, the anguish I sense in your words tells
me that your moral sense remains strong and unbroken. How can you
have forgotten so easily that repentance always brings the soul to
salvation, and my heart tells me that Edgar's opportunity for
redemption can hardly be less than your own.
“You frighten me, truly, when you say
that, if the truth were known, you and Edgar would be forced to
abandon your land and leave the territory entirely. And you also
seem to be saying that you and your mate might both be put into jail!
It is sadly true that good people may commit many wrongs. I have
lived long enough to know that this is true. But even if you have
fallen, and fallen shamefully, the heart that is honestly contrite
never needs to fear the condemnation of the Lord. Perhaps what you
are mostly afraid of is the disapprobation of your neighbors. Sadly,
the easy anger of mankind has done great hard to many a repentant
sinner. I well know that the heartless sorts among us can be very
rash and unkind in their judgments. But it is equally true that God
always sees the truth at the root of every difficult matter and
ignores the calumnies of the self-righteous.
“Wasn't the blameless Stephen stoned
to death in Jerusalem merely for celebrating the glory of Christ
Eternal? Don't you see? What is a crime in the eyes of of one is not
always so in the eyes of another. But though wickedness dealt to
Stephen a cruel death, we can hardly suppose that the sainted man was
denied a heavenly home. Remember what is written. 'Fear not them
which may kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but
rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.'
“I believe this, and believe it with
unwavering conviction: Cling to God in all your troubles, sister,
for He is the mighty rock that no wave can sunder. I myself
journeyed into a very dark place when my dear Darby was lost in
Tennessee. It seemed to me, during that evil hour, that the Lord was
punishing us both together and I did not understand why. But through
prayer and many days of thoughtful meditation, I found the presence
of mind to grasp this truth: The Lord promises the righteous not
happiness on Earth, but joy in Heaven. Grief comes to all of us
while we dwell in this mortal veil. Think. Who was less deserving
of grief than Christ himself, but did he not lose his step-father
Joseph at a tender age? And though he embodied every virtue, was his
entire life not one of painful and unjust persecution? And what of
Mary, the most blessed of all women? Can you doubt that she keenly
felt the daggers of sorrow at her husband's and her son's deaths?
Oftentimes, our suffering has nothing at all to do with our deserts.
“You say that you can give to me no
details because they would make me ashamed of you. Dear Addie, do
not think that I am so faithless. My love will be unbroken no matter
how far you have strayed. Allow me to help you. Whatever you choose
to let me know, I will listen with compassion and shall not unkindly
judge any words spoken in regret. Nor will I abandon you, no matter
what your culpability may be. Until I hear from you again, my love,
I will be praying for you and Edgar constantly.”
Myra blinked, amazed. She looked again
at the letter's date and bit her lip in dismay. It had been written
not long before her mother and father had both died!
Hastily, the girl began searching her
stack for Irene's follow-up letter, the one that would have carried
on the discussion. When an envelope from her aunt, postmarked in
late June or any time later, was not to be found, she hurried back up
the ladder to bring down the entire box of correspondences.
Unfortunately, a most diligent search could not locate any later
missive originating from Irene. Further, a hasty skimming of all the
thus-far unread letters did failed to throw any new light on the
mystery. Whatever secrets Myra's mother had imparted to Irene, it
seemed that she had shared them with no one else. The girl sat back.
What could her parents have possibly done to plunge themselves into
such a state of self-condemnation? Only Irene might know anything
more. Myra felt determined to confront her aunt for the facts, and
would be in no mood to brook evasions and lies.
But it took only seconds for Myra to
sink into discouragement. That letter represented a secret that
Irene had been withholding for a very long time. Had she wanted the
story to be revealed, she could have told it anytime during the last five
years. If challenged too boldly, her aunt would most likely give
Myra orders not to bring the subject up again, not with her, and not
with anyone else.
So, the girl wondered, what could she
possibly do? At a loss, she began to search the perplexing letter
again, word by word, for clues that might inspire a useful course of
action.
Myra noted that Irene had written on
April 29, 1866. It would have taken a couple weeks for a letter to
reach Arizona from Pennsylvania. No, it had to have taken more time
than that. In 1866, the Union Pacific was still in Nebraska and mail
into the West was still being carried by stagecoach or else by wagon
along special postal routes. People talking about the “old days”
mentioned that it required maybe three weeks for a letter to travel
from the Northeast to southern Arizona, even in good weather. By her
estimate, this missive would have reached Arizona in latter May.
Giving her mother a week to write an answer, the reply would have
been received by Irene a month later, around the last part of June.
Irene's June reply, if she sent one, should have arrived at Eerie
about mid to late July, after both Myra's mother and father had died.
What had happened to Irene's missing
epistle? the girl wondered. In July, 1866, the newly-orphaned Myron
had been taken in by neighbors. He didn't visit the empty family
home in all that time, and didn't want to. His heart was aching and
his mind was dulled by misery until his aunt arrived in October.
Myra searched her memory. Who would have been receiving the Caldwell
mail during the period that the house had stood empty? These days,
she knew, the post which was addressed to the closer-in farmers was
kept for them at the postal station in Eerie.
Currently, Aaron Silverman was the postmaster and his dry goods shop served as the local post office. She asked herself, what happened to any mail that wasn't picked up? She understood that it was normally returned to the sender, but that didn't always happen. Sometimes unclaimed mail was handed to the main surviving heir. So, shouldn't those letters have been turned over to Myron? But the only mail that he'd gotten between July and October had been a letter from his aunt, telling him that she was coming West to join him at the farm and would be leaving for the West as soon as her affairs at home were settled.
Currently, Aaron Silverman was the postmaster and his dry goods shop served as the local post office. She asked herself, what happened to any mail that wasn't picked up? She understood that it was normally returned to the sender, but that didn't always happen. Sometimes unclaimed mail was handed to the main surviving heir. So, shouldn't those letters have been turned over to Myron? But the only mail that he'd gotten between July and October had been a letter from his aunt, telling him that she was coming West to join him at the farm and would be leaving for the West as soon as her affairs at home were settled.
Myra thought hard. She recalled that
it had been neighbor Severin who had brought Irene's letter to Myron
at the Grimsleys' house. Where had Walt Severin gotten it from? Had
the Severins written to Irene and received a reply from her directly?
Or had the Severins been handling all of the Caldwell mail? They
were the closest friends that the family had in the area. Even if Mr.
and Mrs. Severin didn't already know the Fanning address, surely
would know the name of Irene Fanning, which would have come up in the
course of the many talks they must have had with her parents. Most
likely, it would have been they who had reported the bad news back to
Pennsylvania.
But wait, if Irene's earlier letter had
been collected by the Severins, had they also read it? If so, how
much did they know about the family's secrets? On the other hand,
maybe they knew nothing, unless they had stooped to reading other
people's mail. Anyway, it seemed reasonable that if Walt Severin had the mail, he would have given
it to Irene when she came West in October.
At that moment, Myra heard the clopping
of shod hooves outside. She went to the window and espied the
neighbors -- Singer, Severin, and Grimsley -- dismounting. She
growled like a hound dog approached while devouring a killed chicken.
This was not a time when she wanted to deal with visitors.
The ginger went outside. “What news,
neighbors?!” she called out, trying to make her voice sound even
and controlled.
“Bad news,” I would say,” said
Tully Singer. In his forties, Singer sported a wide brown mustache
and chin beard. His hair was worn longer than his goatee and was
held down by a slouch hat sporting a large gray feather. He had on
garments fit for the brush country – an antelope-skin jacket and
stiff jeans. “We searched high and low,” he said soberly.
“There's been no sign of your cousin's body.”
Myra took in his words without reply,
unable to believe that her family's most disagreeable neighbor would
truly regret any bad luck that befell the Caldwells.
Walt Severin spoke up next. “Is you
aunt at home, Miss Myra?”
“No, sir. She's in town. She'll
probably be home before dark.”
“Well, then you can fill her in.
We're sorry we can't bring better news, but it's a big country out
there. At first, we followed the hunch that Thorn was probably
killed at the holdup site and the outlaws took his body only a short
distance away to hide it -- not wanting it to be identified, but also
not wanting to be seen carrying a dead man.”
“Where did you look?” Myra asked.
“The way we figured it,” said
Grimsley, “the best direction that the outlaws could have taken
would be West, cutting south of Phoenix to avoid the law there, and
then moving on to Yuma, maybe. We think they wouldn't have wanted to
go East, which would have taken them by Eerie. Heading north would
be foolish, because the mountains would have made for hard going.
The way south is pretty rough, too; there's only desert, Indians, and
Mexico. To move fast and find food, their best route would have lain
in the direction of California. The Gila River could have provided
the three of them all the water they'd need.”
“But when we didn't find anything
among the rocks and ravines to the West, we circled back and rode a
ways toward Mexico,” put in Tully Singer. “Same story. No
trace.”
“Now we're coming around to think,”
remarked Walt Severin, “that you might have been on to a good hunch.
Maybe Thorn was still alive when they fled. Maybe he went out a good
distance with the outlaws before he died. Or maybe he's still
living.”
Grimsley shook his head. “From here
on, I don't think anyone is going to find that boy, except by
accident. If dead, the animals will soon make his traces disappear.
Oh, I guess I shouldn't have said that.”
“All this sounds really bad,” Myra
returned. “But dead or alive, you can bet that he'll never be
coming back into these parts again. Everyone knows his face around
here. It would make no sense for a man to show up at a place where
he'd be arrested in two shakes.”
“We're inclined to agree,” said
Singer. “We're durn sorry that we weren't able to bring you ladies
better news for a Christmas present.”
“Well, as long as there's no body, we
can still hold onto hope,” the girl replied. “You've done all
anyone could expect from good neighbors. I thank you, and my aunt
thanks you, too. Just get on home and rest up. It's the exact right
time of year to be with your families.”
“Right you are there,” agreed
Grimsley. “Take care, Miss Myra.”
“Just a moment,” said the girl. “I
was wondering. Would any of you gents know about what happened to
all the mail that must have come addressed to the empty Caldwell
house before Aunt Irene arrived in '66?”
The men looked at one another. Walt
Severin took the question. “That's a long time ago. Why do you
need to know, missy?”
“I'm interested in family history,”
replied the red-haired girl.
“Well,” said Severin, “we let
Aaron, the postmaster, know that we were taking care of things for
young Myron – tending to the animals and all – and that we wanted
to get into contact with the family back East. I asked him to give
us the addresses appearing on the incoming mail that might be from
people who should be notified. Aaron gave me a list of names and I
right off recognized Irene Fanning as Mrs. Caldwell's sister. My
wife wrote her a letter. When Mrs. Fanning wrote back, I delivered
the reply to young Myron over at Matt's place. Once Irene arrived, I
reminded her that the post office was holding some of the family's
mail. I assumed that she would have picked it up right quick.
Doesn't your aunt remember handling those letters?”
“Everything's been in such a mess
around here since I arrived, the topic never came up,” Myra said.
“I remember the day that Mrs. Fanning
hit town just like it was yesterday,” offered Grimsley. “You're
aunt looked so young, and was darn pretty, too. We didn't think she'd
last a week out here, an Eastern girl trying to farm a difficult
country like this. I offered to buy her out a couple times, but she
held on to the land and seems to have made a go of things.”
“Yeah,” Myra said indifferently,
“she's a pretty one, if she fixes herself up.”
“That's a trait seems to run in every
woman in your family that I've seen,” remarked Singer. Myra only
frowned.
Without much more ado, the neighbors
wished the girl and her aunt well, and then moved off toward their
own homes.
When
she couldn't see more of them than
their cloud of dust, Myra returned all the letters to their hiding
place, but held out the important piece. It was the one epistle that
she had to keep safe. Why in tarnation had her parents done whatever
it was that they'd done? And what could they have done that was so bad
that years later it could still bring her mother to tears? All her
memories about her folks were good ones, and that was exactly the way
that she
wanted to keep on remembering them. But that damned letter had left
muddy footprints all over those comfortable recollections. She
absolutely
had to find out the truth, so that she could put to rest the ugly
doubts that the mystery had raised up.
Myra took a warm, sunny spot by the
corral and then tried very hard to remember everything she could about
those long-ago days. As far as her memories ran, the war had
still been on when her parents had started acting differently. The
noticeable change had come at the same time that people were talking
about General Lee whipping the hell out of Grant at Cold Harbor.
That was in the summer of 1864.
The deepness of her thinking made the
time pass swiftly. A breath of cold wind caused the girl to notice that
the sun was hanging low. Myra got up; she didn't want to chill
herself and get the croup. In a bemused state, she went inside,
eager to lose her chill beside the warm fire.
Myra piled a couple sticks of mesquite
into on top of the little blaze and sat down on one of the two available stools. Her delving into the past reminded her of how
her folks had never cared when young Myron listened in on their
conversations. They'd complain regularly about how expensive things
were, how they couldn't buy this or that. They also discussed how
much “red ink” they were running up at the stores in town. They
wondered how they would ever pay it all off. And she remembered how
glum they got whenever they had to go into town and talk to the
banker. Suddenly, though, things changed. They'd started keeping
mum about the important things when he was around.
From
that point on, in 1864, Myron no
longer heard conversations about debts and bankers. He would instead
hear talk about bills being paid off, and about improvements they wanted
to make -- like putting in the windmill. And something else had
changed. The food had gotten better; Ma was buying more canned goods
and even fresh produce from Ortega's grocery. The rusty and beat-up
tools that his pa had been using were replaced with newer ones.
Also, at the same time, the blackened pots and rusty pans that his
mother
had been cooking in mostly became pans for feeding the hens. The
kitchen shelves got loaded down with kettles and utensils that were
shiny and new. Most memorable of all, more than once, when they
saw Myron leaping with excitement over some toy that he'd see in a
store window, his folks would sometimes go in and buy it for him.
Thinking back, it seemed like those were happy times. So, why had
her folks grown so gloomy?
Those troubling memories brought back
other recollections. Pa had started to go into Phoenix quite often,
though it was darn far away. Unless he pushed himself hard and
wasn't encumbered by a wagon, he'd have to overnight it in the town. For some reason,
Phoenix seemed to become his favorite place for doing the family's
serious shopping. When he returned from the big town, he always had
something flashy to show to his son.
Oddly, at the same time, his folks
almost always talked about having a hard time of it whenever visitors
dropped in. Also, her his ma and pa kept their new things out of
sight as much as possible. If ma fixed something for the guests on
the stove, she'd show off a worn-out coffee pot or skillet. And
they had also made Myron promise not to leave any of his nice
bright toys in plain sight either. “Visitors'll think we're spoiling you,” was the
only excuse they ever gave him.
What did all these bits and pieces
mean, Myra wondered? Her folks had suddenly gotten prosperous. Even
a boy of eleven or twelve could notice the improvement, but they
always acted secretively about it. Was it possible that her elders
had started profiting from doing something dishonest? Was that why they
didn't want their neighbors to know how much money they were
spending?
The girl didn't like to imagine that
her parents had been involved in thievery. How could they be? What
was there to steal in such a miserable, burnt-out countryside?
Well, sure, there was gold around Eerie. Myra knew that prospectors
had occasionally been robbed up in the hills, and that some of them
had been killed.
A shiver run through the
seventeen-year-old. Though she could imagine herself being an outlaw
without feeling shame, she didn't like to think such a thing about her own
parents.
#
Myra, by now, was feeling sleepy;
sinking into a mental fog, she sat staring into the flames inside the
firebox. Of a sudden, Aunt Irene came in though the door.
“Haven't you started anything heating
for supper yet?” her aunt asked after a quick look-around.
Myra shook her head to clear it. “I –
I was sitting by the fire and fell asleep.”
The woman put her packages on the
table. “Well, we'll have to make up for lost time. Have you
milked the cows yet?”
“No.” The girl got up, a bit
unsteady. “I'll do it now. But there's something I need to tell
you.”
Irene glanced over her shoulder.
“What's that?”
“The neighbors came by. They've
given up on the hunt for my body.”
“What exactly did they say?”
“What do you think? They said they
couldn't find anything.”
The older woman shook her head. “It's
too bad that we had to let them waste their time. But I couldn't
think of what else to do.”
“Don't worry. They all came back
alive. Oh, and even though George promised to show up to finish his
work, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. That one seems pretty
quick to make promises, but then he'll do the slow-walk when it comes
to putting in a day of hard work.”
“Well, maybe he'll be here tomorrow.
Everyone is extra-busy near the holidays. But I have something else
I need to tell you about.”
“Will it make this day even worse?”
“It depends. I was approached by one
of the Ladies' Society from church. They've already taken a plan to
Reverend Yingling about having a memorial service for you after
Christmas.”
“More tomfoolery!”
“I couldn't come up with any good
excuse to dissuade them. I did offer the idea that some of our
neighbors were searching for the body. I told them that before we
have a memorial, we ought to wait to find out if the body is going to
be found. But now that excuse isn't going to carry any load. Our
friends at church want to help us get closure on Myron and I'm
supposing that we should go ahead and let them do it.”
“Why can't people just forget about
that shooting and leave me be?”
“Their hearts are in a good place,
Myra. They want to honor us, just as they would honor any other
decent family in Eerie.”
“We're not such a decent family.”
“Are you talking about yourself, or
me?”
“They didn't like me alive and they
can't possibly care about me dead. Did they ask you to provide the
food? Maybe getting another free lunch is the thing that they're
really after.”
“I doubt that. I think it's best
that we handle this affair with good manners. We've come a long way
toward fitting you comfortably into this community
and we must not let ourselves stumble now.”
“Yeah? Well, how much grief over
what happened are you really feeling?”
Irene stared at her niece. “I don't
know what you mean. You're not dead.”
Myra looked deeply into the fire again.
“I'm not quite so sure about that as you are,” she remarked.
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4, Part 2.